6 Life Skills Kids Need for the Future

With all the hype that neuroscientists and Silicon Valley engineers are getting these days, it’s easy to start thinking that your kiddo needs to be a star mathlete or a budding biologist to get ahead in tomorrow’s job market. Yes, it’s true that all children need a thorough grounding in science, technology, engineering, and math (STEM), in addition to reading and writing. After all, 20 years from now, the majority of job openings will likely be in STEM fields. And teachers, salespeople, and product designers alike will need to be STEM-savvy just to use the increasingly sophisticated tools of their trades, notes University of Missouri developmental psychologist David Geary, Ph.D.

Yet there’s another set of skills that experts say all kids will need to succeed, no matter what field they go into. “Almost every employer, in every occupation, prefers workers who know how to problem-solve, be creative, work collaboratively, and communicate well,” says Steven Paine, Ed.D., president of the educational advocacy group Partnership for 21st Century Skills.

Far from taking time away from your child’s current curriculum, these six skills can all be worked into other lessons — both in school and out. “It’s about how we teach, not what we teach. Kids need to learn deeper lessons by doing project-based work so that they don’t forget the facts after the test is over,” notes Paine.

Fortunately, you can hone those essential abilities through cool activities and games that make long car trips and rainy afternoons whiz by. Read on for inspired ideas that will ward off “I’m bored” blues — while boosting the skills that all 21st-century kids need:

Skill #1: Problem-Solving
To get ahead in a competitive world, your child will need to be able to think critically — to observe, analyze, and come up with smart solutions to complex dilemmas. It’s the quality kids need to write a persuasive ad campaign, say, or to fill out a new prescription for a senior on multiple medications.

“It means answering higher-level questions that require thought and exploration,” explains high school science teacher Jeff Charbonneau, of Zillah, WA, a 2013 Teacher of the Year. To get there, your child needs to learn to ask questions like “why?” and “what if?” and to think through all sides of an issue. Here are two ways you can encourage him:

Turn questions into projects. If your child asks “Why do I have so many freckles?” flip it around on him: “Why do you think you do?” (“Kids learn more from discovering answers on their own than having you explain things,” says Charbonneau.) Have your child come up with a couple of theories, then do some online research while you supervise. “Finally, ask him to explain what he’s discovered in his own words to help him process what he’s learned,” Charbonneau says.

Invent a superhero. If your child complains about being bored, point him toward the junk drawer. Suggest he sculpt his very own superhero from the stuff he finds, using modeling clay or glue to assemble it. To tap into his problem-solving prowess, tell him you have to be able to spot his hero’s special powers from the way he looks: For instance, Elastic Man might wear a rubber-band sash. That extra step will give your kid practice in mulling options and picking a strategy.

Skill #2: Playing Well With Others
The most successful companies know how to hire the best people and get them to work toward a common goal. That’s one reason teachers love classroom projects — they teach kids the value of teamwork. As they toil together, kids learn self-control (how not to melt down when classmates decide to take a different tack), diplomacy (how to urge on a slacker without name-calling), empathy (how to take a teammate’s feelings into account), and time-management (how to finish in the time frame). Leap ahead 20 years as your child slogs with colleagues to launch the first hack-proof credit card, and all those lessons come into play. Meanwhile, to raise a child who works well with others, your family could:

Host a bake-in. Cooking with siblings or playdate buddies not only sharpens math and reading skills but also boosts teamwork. After all, taking turns with the mixer (and sharing the beaters) is the first step toward learning cooperation. Cookies are always a hit, but older kids can get creative with ingredients and try whipping up an entire meal. If they have to toss their culinary masterpiece in the trash afterward, so be it — teaching kids to deal with failure is also important, and this is a low-stakes way to do it, says Charbonneau.

Shoot a flick. Making a movie helps kids channel their imaginations to create something fun while also negotiating  who will do what. They can come up with the plot and script, act out the scenes themselves (or set them up with dolls or action figures), and delegate someone to snap pics with the smartphone. Then you can help them use theiMotion HD app (iTunes, free) or Lego Movie Maker (iTunes, free) to create cool time-lapse videos from the photos.

Skill #3: Smart Tech Reliance
Sure, you turn to your kid for help when you set up a new smartphone, but an ease with operating gadgets isn’t the same as understanding the best practices for using them. Digital natives must learn to judge the validity of the streams of information and to navigate social media.

It helps to consider digital media as you would food, says Michael Levine, Ph.D., of the Joan Ganz Cooney Center, a nonprofit that deals with educational media for kids. Empty calories (think Candy Crush) should be occasional treats, but allow healthy sites more freely. (One to try together: Code.org, which teaches kids easy ways to write the computer code that creates websites and apps.) Other ways to get them up to speed on all things media:

Become co-bloggers. Team up with your child to create a family blog (free at a site like Blogger.com), where you can post pics, news, and her latest artwork. Work with your kiddo to edit things down so relatives don’t get flooded with too much info — a valuable lesson for when she’s eventually writing PowerPoint reports. Bonus: Blogging also boosts writing chops.

Laugh at e-errors. Teach your kid to approach the web with a healthy dose of skepticism. Show her your iPhone’s silliest autocorrect errors and explain that computers can make similar mistakes when she looks to them for help with, say, spelling or translating. Or take an age-appropriate current event and see how the same story gets a different spin, depending on the site.

Skill #4: Thinking in 3-D
The ability to visualize objects — and the way they fit into a space — is what experts call spatial awareness. We use the skill every day when we merge our cars onto highways, for instance, or find our way around a new store.

Spatial awareness is second only to basic math as the building block for STEM learning because it teaches kids how to manipulate shapes in their head, says Vanderbilt University psychology professor David Lubinski, Ph.D. Boosting it pays off for all sorts of professionals, including architects, surgeons, and fashion designers. All need to imagine their end product as they work, whether it’s a new heart, a house, or a couture gown.

Cultivating the skill is especially helpful for girls, since the toys parents give boys — train sets, Lego kits — give them an edge in terms of thinking about how things fit together. Still, neither gender gets much training at school, says Lubinski. Thankfully, there are ways to get it in at home:

Encourage gaming. Video games tend to get a bad rap, but the ones that spur kids to make cities out of virtual blocks, like Minecraft, are great for building spatial skills. “It’s a blend of entertainment, engineering, creativity, and social media skills,” says Levine. “And it’s fun for older and younger siblings to play together.”

Cue the construction. A good way to teach the relationship between 3-D objects is by having kids decide whether a Lego piece or an ice-pop stick should go under or over another piece, or adjacent or perpendicular to it, when your child builds bridges or parking garages. Charbonneau asks his 7-year-old to build two towers and then make a zip line from string between them for an action figure to ride. “It’s a challenge to build a structure that can carry a heavy load,” he points out. To spur more elaborate buildings in the future, take a pic of your child’s creation when he’s finished.

Turn off the GPS
Maps are a one dimensional way to visualize the distance between two points, so keep an old-school one in the car, and you’ll be ready when your kid asks “Are we there yet?” Help him pinpoint where you’re headed and ask him to track your movement along the route, letting everyone know when you’re halfway there, three quarters of the way there, and about to arrive.

Skill #5: Communicating Clearly
Your child needs to say what he means — succinctly and diplomatically — whenever he explains ideas in class or argues for more privileges with you. And with higher-tech ways to communicate evolving, your grown-up kiddo will have to tap into this ability constantly. After all, he’ll be connected with coworkers and clients in real time almost nonstop — all around the world — and can’t afford to have anyone second-guess his intentions. How to help:

Follow the leader. Any activity that calls upon your child to listen to or give directions — even playing pretend — can help him become a great communicator. To give these skills a super-workout, try this: Slip on a blindfold and follow your child’s directions as you move through the room to pick up an object. Then switch, so your child gets the chance to practice both listening and describing the obstacles in the room.

Tell spellbinders. Story chains are a great way to spend a car ride or to keep the conversation going at mealtimes. Begin the story by creating a hero and setting. The person next to you adds more to the tale, and so on. Encourage everyone to contribute for a full 15 to 30 seconds. With practice, your kids will learn to really hear the storylines that come first, to layer their contributions onto those, and to tee up the next person with clever cliffhangers.

Skill #6: Out-of-The-Box Concepting
Creativity is the process of imagining what can be — the skill any boss requires, whether your adult kid is teaching a class full of fidgety second-graders or isolating the genes that trigger depression.

Eine Lanze für die Langeweile brechen

http://mobil.derstandard.at/1350260936104/Kinder-muessen-sich-langweilen

Familientherapeut Jesper Juul erklärt, warum es für ihre Entwicklung wichtig ist, dass Kinder sich gelegentlich fadisieren

Eine Leserin fragt:
Unser Sohn ist vier Jahre alt. Meistens ist er glücklich, lebendig und hat immer etwas zu tun. In der Kinderbetreuung macht er bei allem mit, und es fällt ihm leicht, Freundschaften zu knüpfen. Wenn wir ihn abholen, fragt er oft: "Was tun wir, wenn wir zu Hause sind?" Zuerst dachten wir, das wäre wundervoll, aber mittlerweile fühlen wir uns wie Entertainer, die sich ständig neue Beschäftigungen ausdenken müssen. Wenn wir einmal nichts finden, beschwert er sich und sagt, dass ihm langweilig ist. Es kommt mir vor, als habe er die Fähigkeit verloren, sich etwas auszudenken oder alleine zu spielen. Was können wir tun?
Jesper Juul antwortet: 
Viele Institutionen, die Nachmittagsbetreuung, Sportcamps und auch die Medien sind voll von Animationsangeboten. Sie haben alle eines gemeinsam: Sie bieten Eltern Ideen und Strategien an, um Langeweile bei ihren Kindern zu vermeiden. Ich möchte eine Lanze für die Langeweile brechen.

Im Dezember bestreitet Jesper Juul mehrere Vorträge und Workshops in Österreich.

foto: family lab

Diese Serie entsteht in Kooperation mit Family Lab Österreich.

foto: family lab

Es geht mir nicht darum, Eltern zu kritisieren, die ihre Zeit mit ihren Kindern genießen, die Ferien und Wochenenden nutzen, um Museen zu besuchen, gemeinsam im Garten zu arbeiten, Fahrräder zu reparieren oder gemeinsam Sport zu treiben.

Ich wende mich an Eltern, die sich unter Druck gesetzt fühlen: diejenigen, die ständig darüber nachdenken, was sie mit den Kindern unternehmen könnten, und die sich schuldig fühlen, weil sie sich eigentlich lieber entspannen würden. Hier sind einige Ideen für diejenigen, die zusammenzucken, wenn sie ihre Kinder sagen hören: "Mir ist fad!"

Eltern und Kinder sind Konsumenten geworden. Das führt dazu, dass vielen Kindern langweilig wird, sobald die externe Stimulation fehlt. Es ist ihnen fad ohne Computerspiele, DVDs und Fernsehen. Auch Kindertagesstätten und Schulen setzen auf externe Stimulation. Wenn Kinder dem den ganzen Tag lang ausgesetzt sind, erhalten sie eine Überdosis davon.

Viele Eltern fühlen sich förmlich genötigt, diese inspirierenden Aktivitäten zu Hause fortzusetzen. Den Druck erzeugen dabei eigentlich die Kinder, denn sie wurden schlichtweg "stimulationssüchtig" gemacht. Ohne Anregung oder "Bespielung" haben sie regelrecht Entzugserscheinungen. Sie beschweren sich und fordern von den Eltern, unterhalten zu werden. Wenn die Eltern noch genügend Energie haben, werden sie mit den Kindern Dinge unternehmen. Diejenigen, die müde sind, geben den Kindern einen Stapel DVDs oder schicken sie auf ein Kindercamp, damit andere Menschen sie unterhalten.

Mein Vorschlag: Lassen Sie Ihre Kinder sich langweilen. Sie können das mit reinem Gewissen tun.

Die meisten Kinder erleben eine unangenehme innere Unruhe, wenn sie sich langweilen. Der Grund: Sie versuchen, eine Balance zu finden zwischen dem Konsumieren von externen Reizen und ihrer eigenen inneren Kreativität. Jüngere Kinder wissen, dass diese Unruhe oder Langeweile nicht einfach zu beruhigen ist.

Wenn Kinder sagen, dass ihnen langweilig ist, und Eltern dann sofort eine Idee anbieten, weisen die Kinder diese in den meisten Fällen umgehend zurück. Wenn Eltern einige wenige Minuten lang warten, werden sie aber feststellen, dass sich ihr Kind bereits in etwas vertieft hat.

Langeweile ist der Schlüssel zur inneren Balance - egal in welchem Alter. Diejenigen, die die Unruhe vorbeiziehen lassen, kommen in Kontakt mit ihrer Kreativität. Unsere Kreativität ist der Raum, in dem wir uns spüren, uns selbst kennenlernen, uns selbst ausdrücken und die Erfahrung von Selbstverwirklichung machen. Was sich noch vor einer Stunde wie eine unangenehme Stille anfühlte, erzeugt plötzlich inneren Frieden und wird zur emotionalen Aufladestation.

Für Kinder ist es wichtig, ihrer inneren Kreativität zu folgen. Es macht sie unabhängig von äußerer Anerkennung und Zustimmung. Kreativität ist zentral, um Selbstwert zu entwickeln. Kinder, die sich gelegentlich langweilen, werden eine größere innere Ruhe spüren, die ihre soziale Kompetenz fördert.

Wenn Ihr Kind zu Ihnen kommt und sagt: "Mir ist sooo langweilig", dann umarmen sie es und sagen: "Herzlichen Glückwunsch, mein Freund! Es interessiert mich, zu sehen, was du jetzt tust." Sie können das mit einem absolut reinen Gewissen sagen. Vielleicht ist Ihr Kind kurz irritiert, aber Sie geben ihm damit eine wertvolle Gelegenheit, mit seinen inneren Stimuli in Kontakt zu kommen, anstatt sich auf die äußeren zu verlassen.

Noch besser wäre es, wenn sie sich gemeinsam langweilen: Sie werden bemerken, dass Sie plötzlich über Dinge sprechen und sich gegenseitig erzählen, die nur auftauchen, wenn der "Unterhaltungsmodus" ausgeschaltet ist und Sie die innere Unruhe überwunden haben. Das ist der Punkt, an dem echte Nähe möglich wird. Sie können das auch mit Ihrem Partner ausprobieren.

Wir können uns aus unserer Konsumentenrolle nicht befreien. Aber wir können sie steuern und unseren Kindern dabei helfen herauszufinden, wie ihnen das selbst gelingt. (Jesper Juul, derStandard.at, 11.11.2012)

Jesper Juul, geboren 1948 in Dänemark, ist Lehrer, Gruppen- und Familientherapeut, Konfliktberater und Buchautor. Er studierte Geschichte, Religionspädagogik und europäische Geistesgeschichte. Statt die Lehrerlaufbahn einzuschlagen, nahm er eine Stelle als Heimerzieher und später als Sozialarbeiter an und ließ sich zum Familientherapeuten ausbilden. Er ist Begründer des Family Lab.

Mission Statement “One should always be drunk.”

http://laphamsquarterly.org/intoxication/mission-statement

One should always be drunk. That’s the great thing, the only question. Not to feel the horrible burden of Time weighing on your shoulders and bowing you to the earth, you should be drunk without respite.

CONTRIBUTOR

Charles Baudelaire

“Get Drunk.” After his expulsion from the Lycée Louis-le-Grand for lack of discipline in 1839, Baudelaire in his late teens embarked upon a literary life in the Latin Quarter and soon contracted syphilis—most likely from a prostitute nicknamed Squint-Eyed Sarah, whom he immortalized in his early verse. In 1848 he began translating Edgar Allan Poe, whose life and works he found “stamped with an undeniable seal of melancholy,” and in 1860, he translated some of the opium writings of Thomas De Quincey. Baudelaire published The Flowers of Evil in 1857 and was promptly tried for public indecency.

Drunk with what? With wine, with poetry, or with virtue, as you please. But get drunk.

And if sometimes you should happen to awake, on the stairs of a palace, on the green grass of a ditch, in the dreary solitude of your own room, and find that your drunkenness is ebbing or has vanished, ask the wind and the wave, ask star, bird, or clock, ask everything that flies, everything that moans, everything that flows, everything that sings, everything that speaks, ask them the time; and the wind, the wave, the star, the bird, and the clock will all reply, “It is Time to get drunk! If you are not to be the martyred slaves of Time, be perpetually drunk! With wine, with poetry, or with virtue, as you please.”

© 1947, New Directions Publishing Corporation. Used with permission of New Directions Publishing Corp.

Sfaturi de viata de la un pediatru celebru. Pentru a obtine un fruct bun, trebuie sa alimentezi niste radacini puternice.

http://centruldeparenting.ro/11-lucruri-pe-care-as-vrea-ca-toti-parintii-sa-le-stie-sfaturi-pentru-parinti-de-la-un-pediatru-celebru/

„11 lucruri pe care as vrea ca toti parintii sa le stie”. Sfaturi de viata de la un pediatru celebru

Dupa 25 de ani de practica in domeniul pediatriei si dupa o comunicare cu mii de copii, pediatrul american Stephen Cowan a observat ca anumite probleme in relatia dintre parinti si copii si care ii afecteaza pe adulti apar din nou si din nou.
El le-a rezumat si a prezentat 11 sfaturi pentru parinti, pe care le-a descris intr-un articol intitulat „11 lucruri pe care as vrea ca toti parintii sa le stie” , publicat pe MindBodyGreen.com.

Va prezentam cele 11 lucruri care nasc conflicte in relatiile parinti-copii, pentru ca, stiind de ele, sa le transformati in avantaje si sa le gestionati cu succes.

1. Cresterea si dezvoltarea copilului nu este o competitie

In aceasta perioada, cu totii ne grabim sa crestem mari. In lumea noastra post-industriala a vitezei si eficientei, am uitat ca viata este un proces asemanator cu coacerea unui fruct. Pentru a obtine un fruct bun, trebuie sa alimentezi niste radacini puternice. Acorda mai multa atentie pamantului, terenului care sustine viata copilului tau: fa o plimbare cu copilul, mananca impreuna cu el, jucati-va impreuna, povesteste-i o experienta din copilaria ta.

2. Traditiile de familie incurajeaza radacinile puternice si o viata sanatoasa

Este adevarat ca, pentru a crea traditii familiale, este nevoie de timp si de perseverenta. Dar rezultatul este pe masura. Traditiile personale sunt sacre deoarece ele creeaza mediul necesar comunicarii care intareste legaturile de iubire si intimitate in familie si construiesc acea incredere care iti va proteja copilul pe drumul sau prin viata.

3. Oamenii cresc in cicluri

Fiecare viata de copil are un ritm si un puls proprii – uneori rapid si intens, iar alteori lent si linistit. Si, la fel cum fiecare primavara ne aduce un sentiment reinnoit de apreciere a vietii, fiecare noua etapa a vietii copilului reprezinta o noua peioada de descoperiri si minuni. In definitiv, invatarea nu inseamna numai acumulare de informatii. Este totodata un proces de transformare a ideilor si, uneori, pentru acest lucru trebuie sa uiti anumite lucruri pentru a reusi sa vezi realitatea cu o privire proaspata. Unii copii vor face un pas inapoi inainte de a face un salt urias inainte.

A creste in cicluri inseamna si faptul ca nu avem doar o singura sansa de a invata ceva. Aceeasi lectie va aparea in fata noastra din nou si din nou pe masura ce trecem prin anotimpurile vietii noastre. Acest mod de a intelege copilaria implica o iertare profunda, care ii elibereaza pe parintii care vor „sa faca lucrurile bine” din prima incercare, spune pediatrul american.

4. Incurajarea nu acelasi lucru cu permisivitatea

Nu ne-am propus sa crestem mici regi si regine. De regula, regii nu o duc foarte bine in societatea noastra. Potrivit doctorului Cowan, studiile recente au aratat ca indulgenta, permisivitateaii slabesc de fapt fortele copilului care il ajuta sa supravietuiasca, diminuandu-i motivarea si sentimentul succesului.

Incurajarea inseamna sa-i insufli copilului curaj, si nu sa faci totul in locul lui. Creeaza un mediu in care sa se simta sustinut, fara sa se simta presat in vreun fel. Iubirea neconditionata este ceea ce-l incurajeaza pe copil sa-si asume riscuri, sa experimenteze si sa faca greseli stiind ca nu va fi judecat pentru ele. Uneori, sa fii o prezenta incurajatoare in viata copilului inseamna sa te dai un pic la o parte, fiind mereu gata sa-i dai o mana de ajutor atunci cand circumstantele o cer, dar avand mereu incredere in abilitatea sa innascuta de a se descurca.

Asta inseamna incurajarea. Pe de alta parte, permisivitatea limiteaza libertatea copilului, crescandu-i exagerat sentimentul de importanta a propriei persoane si scazandu- rabdarea de care are nevoie pentru a depasi obstacolele atunci cand lucrurile nu se desfasoara imediat asa cum isi doreste. Permisivitatea conduce la micimea gandurilor si a actiunilor.

5. Copiii sunt invatatorii nostri spirituali

Nu trebuie sa mergi undeva departe, cheltuind multi bani, daca vrei sa ajungi la iluminarea spirituala. Micul si inteleptul tau mentor este chiar aici in fata ta, oferindu-ti adevarata intelepciune pe gratis!

Cand sunt mici, copiii se uita la fiecare miscare a noastra, studiindu-ne inconsecventele in incercarea de a intelege aceasta lume nebuna. Si apoi vor face apel la acele inconsecvente. Tine minte, cand simti ca un copil iti forteaza limitele, sunt limitele tale, nu ale lui. Ofera-ti timp pentru a asculta si a intelege ce incearca sa te invete copilul. Unul dintre secretele parintilor de succes este ca ei sunt pregatiti si dornici de schimbare pentru copii, din dragoste pentru ei. Atunci cand esti dispus sa-ti vezi limitele si sa intelegi ce te enerveaza, deschizi o constiinta de sine mai profunda, care te transforma si pe tine, si pe copil.

6. Un simptom este modul in care corpul ne spune ca trebuie sa schimbam ceva

Un doctor bun, se intreaba ce urmareste de fapt acest simptom?, mai degraba decat pur si simplu sa incerce sa-l suprime. Corpul nostru are propria sa inteligenta. Insa numeroase reclame la produse farmaceutice incearca sa ne convinga ca este ceva gresit sa ai niste simptome. Doctorul Stephen Cowan spune ca o mare parte din educatia sa medicala a fost axata pe modalitatile de a elimina simptomele ca si cum acestea ar fi de fapt problema (este ca si cum i-ai cere organismului sa taca, si la fel de nepoliticos). Noi nu avem incredere in inteligenta corpului nostru. Noi gandim prea mult si avem tendinta sa ne fie frica de senzatiile din corpul nostru.

„Dar copiii m-au invatat ca un simptom precum febra nu este o problema. Orice o provoaca ar putea fi o problema, dar febra ese doar modul in care organismul incearca sa faca fata cu ceea ce se intampla”, scrie specialistul citat.

Sa luam drept exemplu un copil cu febra. Ce alte simptome mai are? Daca este jucaus, nu trebuie sa scazi febra. Asta inseamna ca organismul incearca sa creeze o caldura suplimentara prin metabolism pentru a mobiliza sistemul imunitar. Pentru a-l ajuta, ii poti da copilului lichide calde (nu reci) pentru a evita deshidratarea si mancare nutritiva, precum supele, pentru a sustine aceasta lupta.

7. Fii pregatit

Aceasta este o stare de pregatire care poate fi alimentata de incredere sau de frica. In aceasta perioada, pediatrul american spune ca practica „medicina de pregatire”, mai degraba decat de preventie, astfel incat imbolnavirea nu este privita ca un esec. Sa fii sanatos asta nu inseamna sa nu te imbolnavesti niciodata. Viata este o calatorie cu suisuri si coborasuri si un copil in crestere traieste intr-o stare constanta de flux.

Pentru a deveni puternic, sistemul imunitar al copilului trebuie sa invete cum sa se imbolnaveasca si cum sa se insanatoseasca. Protejarea exagerata a copiilor in fata bolilor ii priveaza de informatia care ii pregatesc pe deplin pentru a se putea insanatosi.

In loc sa traiesti cu o frica constanta de boli, trebuie sa stii ca sunt remedii naturale care sa sustina insanatosirea copilului rapid si eficient: o buna alimentatie, hidratarea, probiotice, odihna adecvata si exercitii. Si, cel mai important, in loc sa te concentrezi pe cat de des se imbolnaveste copilul, sarbatoreste cat de des se insanatoseste.

8. Vindecarea necesita timp

„Cea mai mare parte din medicina alternativa pe care o practic in aceasta perioada are nevoie de timp. Ca societate, suntem dependenti de vindecarile rapide din cauza ca nu mai avem timp pentru a ne imbolnavi. Ca medic, a fost invatat sa fiu un fel de pompier glorios, care cauta sa sa rezolve urgentele rapid si eficient”, scrie medicul.

In cazul urgentelor, sunt deseori necesare medicamente puternice pentru a salva vieti, dar majoritatea problemelor de sanatate ale copiilor nu sunt urgente. In aceste cazuri, pentru vindecare este nevoie de mai mult decat medicamente puternice. Este nevoie de timp. „Imi dau seama ca sa-ti iei o zi libera in plus de la serviciu deoarece copilul a fost trimis acasa de la scoala cu o raceala poate adauga un stres in plus la viata deja destul de stresata. Dar copiii m-au invatat ca vindecarea este un fel de proces de dezvoltare care are propriile sale etape”, se arata in articol.

Atunci cand nu-i dam organismului copilului suficient timp pentru a-si reveni dintr-o boala, il privam pe copil de etapele necesare din care trebuie sa invete cum sa-si dezvolte o sanatate puternica. In schimb, atunci cand ne dam timp suficient pentru a ne recupera, boala devine o calatorie de descoperire, nu doar o destinatie, incepem sa vedem boala si insanatosirea ca pe doua fete ale aceleiasi monede.
9. Secretul vietii este sa lasi lucrurile sa treaca

Viata este un proces constant de a face loc lucrurilor sa mearga in directia lor. Lucrurile frumoase care s-au consumat la timpul lor se transforma in altceva. La fel cum primavara ii cedeaza locul verii, asa este fiecare etapa a dezvoltarii, un proces de a lasa sa treaca. Mersul de-a busilea face loc mersului in picioare. Ganguritul face loc vorbirii. Copilaria este inlocuita cu adolescenta. Odata ce inspiri, urmeaza sa expiri.

Fiecare anotimp, fiecare etapa, fiecare mic ritm din viata noastra este o chestiune de a-i da drumul sa plece. Acest lucru ne permite sa scapam de ceea ce nu avem nevoie sa faca parte din viata noastra cu noi informatii si noi experiente. A da drumul sa plece nu este un lucru mereu usor si fiecare copil are propriul sau timp si stil de adaptare. Natura favorizeaza diversitatea. Poate cea mai importanta modalitate prin care copiii invata cum sa lase lucrurile sa plece este modul in care se joaca. Jocul inseamna sa-ti lasi inhibitiile sa plece si sa nu te iei prea in serios.

10. Ai incredere in tine. Iti cunosti copilul mai bine decat oricine altcineva

Unul dintre cele mai importante lucruri pe care doctorul Cowan ii invata pe tinerii parinti este cum sa aiba incredere in ei insisi. Nicicand acest lucru nu face mai mult rau ca atunci cand apare un bebelus. Ne asteptam sa stim totul si totusi ne simtim ca si cum am sti nimic. Dar aceasta stare ca nu stii nimic poate fi o oportunitate de a ne dezvolta intuitia.

Un parinte constient incepe prin a asculta cu inima deschisa ce se intampla in viata copilului, fara teama sau panica. Studiile au aratat ca intuitia materna este mai puternica decat orice teste de l

Jurnal al multumirii si recunostintei

http://m.gandul.info/reportaj

Întrebată despre cea mai simplă metodă de a fi fericit, Mălina oferă soluţia:”Păstrează un jurnal al recunoştinţei sau al momentelor fericite de pe parcursul zilei. Poţi să faci amele lucruri sau să faci fiecare dintre ele, depinde de foarte mult de ce îşi doreşte fiecare om în parte. Sunt studii foarte multe care arată că făcând acest exerciţiu deosebit de simplu în care notezi cu liniuţă seara trei lucruri bune sau trei lucruri pentru care eşti recunoscător în ziua în care a trecut, în aproximativ 21 de zile, creşte foarte mult nivelul de fericire. Creşterea este atât de impresionantă, încât exerciţiul a început să fie folosit pe persoane care aveau depresii”.

Mihaela Miroiu: „Trăim într-o cultură a văicărelii”

Profesorul în ştiinţe politice are şi o explicaţie a motivului  pentru care România se află în fruntea clasamentului celor mai neferite ţări. ”Trăim într-o cultură a văicărelii, începând cu cele două balade fundaţionale, Mioriţa, povestea pasivităţii fatale, Mănăstirea Argeşului, povestea autosacrificiului criminal, cu valenţe de salvare prin capodoperă. Niciun român care are mai mult de 8 clase nu a scăpat de mesajele lor fără de preţ în consolidarea defetismului şi suferinţei”.

Un alt motiv este că ne place să ne plângem de milă. ”Credem că suferinţa înnobilează şi, nu-i aşa, nu vrem să fim plebei. Ştiind asta, toate ne dau apă la moară : o religie cu ritmuri de lamentaţie permanentă,  televiziunile defetiste, site-urile de ştiri cu titluri din aresenale catastrofiste, facebookul, vecinii, colegii, familia. Parcă văd cum se repede o serie vigilentă de comentatori care o să spună că mă înşel total, cauzele sunt altele: politicienii (eventual ceilalţi), politica (internă, a UE, a NATO, proximitatea ruşilor), istoria (imperiile care ne-au stors de putirinţă). Da, toţi ne-au stors şi sunt de vină, numai fiecare dintre noi e inocent şi victimă. Iadul sunt ceilalţi”, mai spus Mihaela Miroiu.

Aceasta consideră că plasarea ţării nostre la coada clasamentului în topul celor mai fericite ţări nu s-a produs doar pentru că românii sunt nefericiţi la nivel declarativ. ”Nu cred că e o modă nouă. E de ajuns să recitim literatura şi filosofia produse în spaţiul nostru cultural ca să vedem că nefericirea este o constantă gravitaţională. Accidentele optimiste sunt rare. Alminteri e greu de explicat cum ceea ce am reuşit să exportăm cu success internaţional e nihilismul pesimist, via Cioran, absurdul, via Ionesco, dadaismul, viaTzara sau mitul veşnicului început, via Brâncuşi sau Eliade. Inclusiv amuzamentul ironic pe care îl stârnesc filmele americane românilor cu morgă culturală e un sindrom al unei culturi care nu găseşte nicio profunzime în optimism, mulţumire, realizare, gratitudine, admiraţie, empatie”, punctează Miroiu.

Cum putem dobândi fericirea? Câteva exemple

Odată înţelească cauza nefericirii noastre naţionale, ne întoarcem la întrebarea de la care am plecat: cum devenim mai fericiţi? Mălina Chirea, de la Institutul pentru Fericire, subliniază că fericirea nu ţine de confort. ”Fericirea ţine de a fi în siguranţă. Fericirea înseamnă să ne simţim în siguranţă în mediul în care trăim. Dacă avem suficienţi bani să ne cumpărăm nişte haine şi mâncare, este suficient pentru a fi fericiţi. Fericirea nu ţine de resursele finaciare, ci din nou modul în care alegem să gândim. Fericirea ţine de lucrurile pe care alegem să le facem în fiecare zi”, mai spune co-fondatorul Institutului pentru Fericire.

Întrebată despre cea mai simplă metodă de a fi fericit, Mălina oferă soluţia:”Păstrează un jurnal al recunoştinţei sau al momentelor fericite de pe parcursul zilei. Poţi să faci amele lucruri sau să faci fiecare dintre ele, depinde de foarte mult de ce îşi doreşte fiecare om în parte. Sunt studii foarte multe care arată că făcând acest exerciţiu deosebit de simplu în care notezi cu liniuţă seara trei lucruri bune sau trei lucruri pentru care eşti recunoscător în ziua în care a trecut, în aproximativ 21 de zile, creşte foarte mult nivelul de fericire. Creşterea este atât de impresionantă, încât exerciţiul a început să fie folosit pe persoane care aveau depresii”.

Alt lucru pe care putem să îl facem este să ne creăm o practică de meditaţie şi de timp petrecut cu noi înşine. ”Cu cât punem mai multă ordine în viaţa noastră, cu atât ordinea aceea o să se vadă şi în gândurile noatre. Să învăţăm să ne trezim la o oră anume, să învăţăm  înainte de a fugi pe uşă să ne bucurăm de un mic dejun, să învăţăm să ne bucurăm de mersul până la birou chiar dacă uneori durează un pic mai mult. Să învăţăm să ne bucurăm practic de momentele zilnice şi să învăţăm să punem ordine în ele, dar să le reperăm. Să fim atenţi şi la ele. Avem tendinţa să fim atenţi la ce nu este funcţional şi asta nu ne ajută, cu siguranţă”, mai spune Mălina Chirea.

O altă metodă de a fi mai fericiţi este să zâmbim mai mult. ”Dacă nu avem o stare foarte bună şi zâmbim mai mult de 20 de secunde, creierul începe să producă serotonină, unul dintre neurotransmiţătorii fericirii. Ne poate ajuta lucrul ăsta. Nu este o soluţie pe termen lung. Uneori lucrurile care ne enervează e bine să le tratăm ca să nu se mai întâmple. Fericirea nu este un fel de var care este dat peste un perete negru şi să ne facem că totul este în regulă, e doar o formă de a aborda diferit situaţiile. Dar, zâmbetul e foarte bun”, menţionează reprezentanta Institutului pentru Fericire.

http://m.gandul.info/reportaj/tineri-corporatisti-care-aparent-au-totul-bat-la-usa-unui-apartament-din-bucuresti-cautand-fericirea-le-deschide-malina-13795805?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=li395_mi101293&utm_content=articol&utm_campaign=Tineri+corporatisti+care%2C+aparent%2C+au+totul+bat+la+usa+unui+apartament+din+Bucuresti%2C+cautand+FERICIREA.+Le+deschide+Malina&utm_term=li395_mi101293_s174371

Teaching English online

http://www.britishcouncil.org/blog/how-get-started-as-online-teacher-english?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=bc-teachingenglish

When I first started teaching ten years ago, I was extremely sceptical about the effectiveness of online teaching, but since then I have accumulated a lot of experience. I'd like to share with you a few things I've learned along the way.

Getting started

Contrary to popular opinion, I recommend starting your online teaching career by working for an established company. If your teaching experience is limited and you're not an internet wiz, working for a company can act as an excellent type of 'internship'. Admittedly, the money can be low and the hours unreliable, but you'll receive on-the-job training and technical and pedagogical support. I started out working for one of the well-known English learning centres. I gained valuable skills, experience and the confidence, which later enabled me to go it alone.

Creating a blog

In the last two years, I've created more of my own materials, usually on the back of envelopes, in notebooks, word files and on scraps of paper. I often use authentic materials such as news articles, TED talks and YouTube clips, and create lesson plans around them. Last year, while looking for inspiration, I came across an English teaching blog for the first time and so discovered the possibility to create and save lesson plans on such a platform, which can then be easily accessed anywhere. I was so impressed that I immediately got to work learning how to create my own blog. I chose BloggerOpens in a new tab or window., as it seemed very easy to use. My blogOpens in a new tab or window. was born in November 2013 and marked the beginning of an incredible journey of self-development.

Becoming part of a network of teachers

The most important discovery I've made since starting my blog is undoubtedly the British Council's Teaching English Facebook pageOpens in a new tab or window.. If only I had discovered it earlier! Through this page, I have connected with an amazing community of teachers (teaching online can at times be a little lonely) and to a vast quantity of excellent materials and resources. My blog has been visited by thousands of new people, which has led me to working on a very interesting new project.

I live in Israel and would never have dreamed of being able to enter a classroom in Iran. But a few months ago, a course co-ordinator in a college in Iran approached me about teaching three groups of Iranian men. I accepted the offer, and now I'm beamed into their classroom via Google HangoutsOpens in a new tab or window., which is projected onto a screen. I upload a document containing a list of weekly topics connected to their course materials, and each student gives a presentation on these topics. I coach and correct the students and send detailed feedback to each one after the lesson. These classes demonstrate the incredible power online teaching has to break through cultural and geographical barriers, offering endless possibilities to both teachers and students alike.

Choosing a platform to communicate with your students

SkypeOpens in a new tab or window. is a very useful platform for online teaching. You can have free video or audio conversations with your students, as long as they have a Skype account. You can send files, type corrections and new vocabulary in the message box, and also share a view of your screenOpens in a new tab or window..

Google Hangouts, as we've seen, allows you to create a virtual classroom. You and your students need to have a Google+ account to be able to use this platform. You can invite up to ten people to a Hangout. You can open any document that you previously saved to Google DriveOpens in a new tab or window., and add notes or a Google sketchpad, which acts like a whiteboard. You can also add YouTube videos and even use sound effects like clapping or a drum roll. I recommend having a trial lesson with your students to help them get used to using Hangouts. Tell them to sign in and enter a Hangout before the lesson. When you first enter, you are prompted to upload the Google talk plug-in, which may take a few minutes.

WizIQOpens in a new tab or window. is something I'm quite new to, and I've discovered that it offers a free online teaching platform for private teachers. You can set up a course for up to ten students, upload materials in advance and invite students to attend the course and then set time and date by email. When you set up your course you can also add the cost of the course, which the student will pay for through PayPalOpens in a new tab or window.. WizIQ's virtual classroom looks very professional and seems to be the most interactive of the free virtual classrooms available. It enables you to upload documents, embed videos and share your screen. You also have a white board and a chat box, the contents of which can be saved. Once you sign up, you can participate in the free training courses that WizIQ offer. Your students will need to sign up to WizIQ to enter the class. If you upgrade, you can also promote your courses in their marketplace. WizIQ has a free course starting this week called Teachers Teaching OnlineOpens in a new tab or window..

Google HelpoutsOpens in a new tab or window. is going to be the next big thing for online teachers, in my opinion. Unfortunately, it's currently only available in the U.S., Canada, Ireland, U.K., New Zealand and Australia. Helpouts is a new way of sharing knowledge and expertise through live video. You connect with your students in a one-on-one video call. You begin by creating a listing for your lessons, with information about you, the expertise that you're sharing and price details. You add your availability, the lessons are given via Google Hangouts and payment is made using Google WalletOpens in a new tab or window.. When it becomes available worldwide, it will connect teachers with a huge international market of students, free of charge.

Managing your time effectively

The most difficult aspect of being a self-employed teacher is learning to manage your time. To be honest, I'm still not very good at limiting my research and preparation time. I hope, in the long run, that having my lesson plans on a blog will help, but creating these materials is time-consuming. I would like to recommend two webpages I've discovered, which I'm sure will help teachers manage their time effectively.

EducanonOpens in a new tab or window. is free and works on all major internet browsers. It enables you to create interactive video lessons using any YouTube, Vimeo, TeacherTubeOpens in a new tab or window., Khan AcademyOpens in a new tab or window. or TEDOpens in a new tab or window. video, and allows you to embed time-linked interactive activities, in the form of questions, to the video. Students participate in these activities as they watch the video. They can stop and rewind the video at any point, but cannot progress until they have completed each activity. When you've finished creating your interactive video lesson, it can be shared or you can embed it on your website or blog. I think it's a fantastic idea and extremely useful for online teaching and flipped classrooms.

Off2ClassOpens in a new tab or window. is a website that offers ready-made course materials in the form of a set of slides. It is currently in beta stage and is free. The site offers a library of ESL (English as a Second Language) lesson plans and new lessons are added weekly -- they're really good too. As the teacher, you have the ability to invite a student to join you on the website in order to view the lesson materials together. When you leave the lesson, the student is no longer able to access the materials. It's a great website and a real time-saver.

Summing up

The internet is a window of opportunity for teachers. It enables us to develop, create, share and teach independently, wherever and however we choose. Happy teaching!

 

Fran Lebowitz quotes

http://thoughtcatalog.com/rachel-hodin/2014/02/30-of-the-funniest-most-empowering-fran-lebowitz-quotes/

My favorite way to wake up is to have a certain French movie star whisper to me softly at two-thirty in the afternoon that if I want to get to Sweden in time to pick up my Nobel Prize for Literature I had better ring for breakfast. This occurs rather less often than on might wish.

4:15 p.m.—I get up feeling curiously unrefreshed. I open the refrigerator. I decide against the half a lemon and jar of Gulden’s mustard and on the spur of the moment choose instead to have breakfast out. I guess that’s just the kind of girl I am—whimsical.

There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.

Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.
Your life story would not make a good book. Do not even try.

All God’s children are not beautiful. Most of God’s children are, in fact, barely presentable.

When it comes to sports I am not particularly interested. Generally speaking, I look upon them as dangerous and tiring activities performed by people with whom I share nothing except the right to trial by jury.

It is not that I am totally indifferent to the joys of athletic effort—it is simply that my idea of what constitutes sport does not coincide with popularly held notions on the subject. There are a number of reasons for this, chief among them being that to me the outdoors is what you must pass through in order to get form your apartment into a taxicab.

I must take issue with the term ‘a mere child,’ for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult.

Children make the most desirable opponents in Scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.

True, there are those laws which endeavor to shield the public from financial disaster. Truer still, financial disaster occurs anyway. And truest of all, the public is not a particularly interesting group.

For some, this sort of agitation would lead to industrious results, scholarly pursuits, inventions that save the world. I am gifted only in how far I’ll stretch to scratch an itch I can never reach.

I can see my glass is half full…but, of course, I did order a double.

When Sadie was two and Huxley near one, I was due my next personal crisis. I can’t risk skipping one of those. (I still take great pride in having been, some 20 years ago, the first on my block to get anorexic.)

It wouldn’t be fair to say my husband, Frank, ignored me. He’d wave now and then through the window as he walked to the kitchen to get another beer (so that’d be six waved on a weeknight and 12 on a weekend, which is more friendly than some marriages). Then, one evening, who knows why – maybe because my mitten had caught fire – Frank stepped outside and saw that I had been crying. ‘Are you say?’ he asked. He’s sensitive like that.

We fly up the front of the plane. We give each kid a lot more than the recommended dose of cough syrup. I display it with a wink-wink, nod-nod to the other passengers so they’ll know we have their comfort in mind. The meds have the desired effect on Huxley. In fact, they work so beautifully that any time we see his eyes flutter – probably just REMing but who wanted to take chances – I scream, ‘Dose him!’

I close my eyes and ardently wish I could offload the kids and take a two-day nap. That might bring colour to my world. I hear a plop on the floor. It is the sound my sweat makes when it finishes hanging around my jaw.

I ask Sadie if she’d like to go out and feed the koi fish…some of these cough drops I found in my pocket. Huxley is wailing for his milk. I tell him, ‘Don’t worry, honey, we’ll be in that pool in a few hours. Until then, you just cry your little heart out.’

It is the first day that Frank has to leave us and go into work. The kids are still not settled into the time zone and, therefore, no one is. Huxley’s doing a lot of screaming – a lot of screaming. Therefore, we all are, though some of us put it to words. I guess we’re just a family sharing a wavelength.

Now it is Monday. And I am Frank-less. And I am in Singapore. By 10 am I have the kids bathed and fed in their respective containers. Huxley is velcroed in his bouncy seat with a bottle and Sadie is in a high chair. She’s a little old to be in one, but she likes it…I tell myself.

There are streaks of brown sludge all over the white marble floor. It stinks in there. Huxley’s feet are encased in the same shit. And, shit it is. Sadie, who I had taken out of the high chair, had been running around bottomless because we’re in toilet training. Apparently we’re not there yet. She’s taken a dump on the floor. Huxley is joyfully riding his walker back and forth, zigging and zagging it all over the place. We have miles of poo trails leading us through the living room.

I wouldn’t say that I dislike the young. I’m simply not a fan of naiveté. I mean, unless you have an erotic interest in them, what other interest could you have? What are they going to possibly say that’s of interest? People ask me, Aren’t you interested in what they’re thinking? What could they be thinking? This is not a middle-aged curmudgeonly attitude; I didn’t like people that age even when I was that age.

If I had to, I would rather have dinner with James Thurber, than, say James Joyce. I’m not the biggest James Joyce fanatic and I would rather have dinner with someone who was funny.

There are some great writers who are great talkers, but there are more great writers who are not great talkers. People seem to think there is some connection between talking and writing, but I love to talk and if there were some connection between the two of them I would be the most prolific writer in the history of the world.

I’m such a slow writer I have no need for anything as fast as a word processor. I don’t need anything so snappy. I write so slowly that I could write in my own blood without hurting myself.

[Male writers] have this sneaking suspicion that writing is not the most masculine profession. This is why you have so much idiotic behavior among male writers. There are more male writers who own guns than any other profession except police officers.

I have a real aversion to machines. I write with a pen. Then I read it to someone who writes it onto a computer. What are those computer letters made of anyway? Light? Too insubstantial. Paper, you can feel it. a pen. There’s a connection.

I’ve never once been edited. I’ve never let anyone edit me, even when I was a kid. When I started publishing, I was writing for this small magazine, deservedly small, called Changes, which was what was then called an underground magazine. I wouldn’t let that editor edit me…My first book was not edited…So I’ve never had the experience of being edited and never will.

I suppose some writers actually like to write with editors. They feel that an editor isn’t an enemy but actually a helper. There is nothing more mine than my writing, nothing I’m more proprietary about. If someone were to say to me that something was wrong, some fact not true, I suppose I would be able to deal with that. But never in a matter of style.

Sulking is a big effort. So is not writing. I only realized that hewn I did start writing. When I started getting real work done, I realized how much easier it is to write then not to write.

She may just be the wittiest woman in modern America. Whether she's dishing on literature or fine dining, writer Fran Lebowitz always has us in stitches. A roundup of our favorite quips from the proud New Yorker...

1. "Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine."

2. "You're only as good as your last haircut."

3. "In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra."

4. "Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications."

5. "I believe in cashmere."

6. "When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough."

7. "I prefer dead writers because you don't run into them at parties."

8. "To me the outdoors is what you must pass through in order to get from your apartment into a taxicab."

9. "I believe in talking behind peoples' backs. That way, they hear it more than once."

10. "Think before you speak. Read before you think."

Did we forget your favorite Fran Lebowitz quote? Leave it in the comments below!

(photo via Fanscoop)

CULTURE > TOP 10 FRAN LEBOWITZ QUOTES